It has been over 15 years since Daniel Carcillo moved from home and sought to become a professional hockey player.
He tried not to think about what had become a member of Sarnie Sting during his work.
"One of the liveliest memories that stands out is that one of my teammates is stuck on a naked table that has two veterans with their own belts and screaming," said Carcillo CBC.
Follow Carcillo to explain the loneliness of abuse:
He said one of the coaches heard shouts and left the office. He said the coach gave the tied player a token.
"It was more a railing, but for me – I sat in my stand and watched it – it told me that I had no one to turn to say things like that, you know to tell these guys what we're going through," said Carcillo .
Look at Carcillo, who talks about alleged abuse:
"Some boys would be heavier than others"
Recent high-profile stories that emerged from a series of alleged sexual assaults involving sports teams at an elite private school in Toronto have led Carcillo to talk about his own hardship.
"It's amazing how you can experience a very emotional trauma and not even think about it," Carcillo said.
"And then something as simple as reading paper and reading about someone else's abuse can evoke all these emotions and images and it's so lively – you're in it right now," Carcillo said of what he and his colleagues had endured during season 2002-2003 Ontario Hockey League.
"I left the house for 17 years to pursue my dream to get into the NHL and do something of myself, and what I and 11 of us had to endure for the year was everyday abuse," reminds Carcillo.
He said that novice players are often pulled out to take off their trousers and beaten with an arched goalie.
"Some guys would get harder than others because they were misunderstood, or some of the guys thought we were a bit off or weird and we just did not fit into a typical male hockey player," Carcillo said.
3 / On.
I think he's suppprt from his former teammates @ Chezy05 Charles Amodeo & amp; Ryan Munce.
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And that was not the worst. He recalls that he is stuffed into a six-person coachbath.
"Forty minutes and being naked in a hot box with a nozzle that inflates, and that was my broken point," recalls Carcillo.
Carcillo said coaches and leaders often knew what was happening and even participated in opportunities – such as a related player incident.
"Time is right"
Carcillo eventually went over the team's leadership and raised his concerns about David Branch's OHL commissioner. Carcillo Loans Branch with steps to alleviate his situation.
In her statement to CBC, OHL said she still had zero tolerance for the shelter and implemented policies to prevent throwing or bullying for several years. He said the players are encouraged to worry forward without fear of retaliation. Each team has an independent chaplain who can hear confidential concerns or complaints.
Carcillo said there was a lot of work to do and he thought the time was right.
Jay Johnson is a professor at the University of Manitoba and has been extensively investigating the throwing of sports.
"When these stories first appeared, I said several times that I thought it might be at the hashtag level that I was moving." Johnson said. "One kind of terrible story is coming forward and allowing other people to come up with their terrible stories. It seems like the time is right that we can present these stories and maybe trigger some action."
At the same time, Johnson said that Carcillo and others who are pushing for change face significant obstacles.
Management is also a part of culture
"Trainers and athletic directors, general managers are generally former athletes themselves, right? So they are part of that culture, and when it comes to throwing it, it's done and done it to the rest," Johnson emphasizes.
"And that really normalizes the behavior, because everybody does it. So the biggest resistance I would say is the people who are in it." And this is someone we saw with Dan today and he says, "Hey, I should have done it to myself and it was one of the worst things and almost ended my career."
Ex-team fellow Ryan Munce reflects Carcilla's statement:
Carcillo wants to give the victims a voice, a channel to tell their stories.
Despite what he went through, he came out of Sarnia and continued his NHL career, which included two Stanley Cups with Chicago Blackhawks.
But those years remain in Sarnia.
"Look at the list and look at the names of the guys who were in these teams in Sarnia and see how some of us have trouble with dependencies, relationship issues," said Carcillo.
"It was supposed to be the best year in my life and the culmination of my dreams and all the work," recalls Carcillo.
"Instead, we had to endure this abuse, this daily abuse, and that was something I thought was normal … because of my abusers I was told that next year you could do it for the newbie, the next class is coming. I remember how I thought they were banging my head that I had never been physically able to make someone do it, it's too painful. "