Probably the main spoilers.
Hey, guys! It's the Claire girl here in time for another recap of Game of Thrones and we're very excited to see what's in the hundred –
Sweet merciful crap they did! Why would they do it for us?!
Eight years ago you started watching this new HBO show that promised a few sexy romps at Ren Faire and instead you got eight years unconditionalas George R. R. Martin has systematically crushed your dreams. And on Sunday evening, these dreams were crushed once more.
That's right, those coming back: Season 8 Episode 3 is here! It was a long time in 82 minutes (that's almost half of the Avengers: Endgame). If you missed it,.
Whileand These moments of joy are gone. Just like the small flowers that emerged on the graves of the dead heroes, they brought solace in the darkness of the game of thrones. And now, these flowers were brutally ripped out by birds of prey, hellish to defeat everything you hold dear. He's not sleeping anymore, you hell ravens crying! David Benioff and D. B. Weiss murdered sleep!
Sorry, I just need a minute. I don't have a moment? Great. Bring it, jerk!
🚨🚨🚨Sound spoiler klaxon and leave all hope, you who come here🚨🚨🚨
The Night King is coming
The whole beginning of this episode is a class act in anticipation. The Winterfell armies have a big bedtime battle and are ready to face the dead, but what form will the dead have? How will they fight? Nobody learned about it in the battle school.
We open ourselves at the trembling hand of Samwell Tarly, who is arming with the Dragonglass and making his way through the front line. Unsullied are ready to sully and Dothraki are ready for Doth-Wreck. What is it? Red Woman, aka Lady Melisandre, has shown up! Super clever, given that they fight ice monsters and we all know that fire is beating ice (except when it doesn't). The red woman lights up Dothraki's guns in the fire, and we see their army spreading with flame.
But in a scene that really wants you to wishon your terrible TV (a lot), Dothraki meet witches in the distance and their flames are extinguished very quickly.
Oh dear. That's … suboptimal.
Dial Z for Zombie
Witches are ready for battle and the tram is coming. Tracking the battle, Jon and Dany are hanging out in their sweet outfits and considering the options. Jon is already putting off the full dragon at the beginning of this work. "The night king is coming!" he claims. "The dead are here," Dany replies. Sweet. Then we go with the dragons.
The battle turns briefly – the fire is still beating with ice – but the cold fog soon settles over the battle and we realize that our fire is not good in these parts. The fire is sucked away, the dragon's flames are snorted, and everyone has such a look, "Oh, that was our ace in the hole." On the ramparts of Arya he quickly sends Sans down to the crypt with the Dragonglass dagger.
"Hold them a pointed end," he says. When she was in college with Faceless Men, she focused clearly on Knifemanship.
Oh yes, this episode is good. I've already finished a cup of tea and haven't seen any big deaths yet!
Bend with me
I spoke too soon! On the battlefield, Sam is a little unnecessary, so his Watch alum Eddison Tollett is going to rescue. It can't end well! And it doesn't.
Main Death # 1: Ed is dead, child.
Dragons pulled back into the clouds and generally flew around that they were a little unnecessary. We need fire, they have it, but instead their GPS dragon was borked by ice clouds and they are literally crashing into each other. It's not much better down here. Ser Davos is trying to lead Daenerys's dragon plane with two big fire poles, but they can't see dragons.
Enter the Red Woman who spells the spell. The hound that is nearby doesn't love it aggressively.
Ice Man Comes
Down in the crypt comes Sansa with "Look, do you want the bad news or bad news?" face. She and Tyrion tell and exchange stories about their marriage days – a moment of heart that is very much needed in a room that has not yet had an interesting story.
"Maybe we should stay married," Tyrion contemplates.
"You were the best of them," Sansa says before Tyrion retorts, "What a frightening thought." Fair, but it's a pretty bad list, you.
No time for sass, we're at Brain Tree! Bran is a super chill, but he still has time to calm Theon. "Everything you did has brought you where you are now," he says. "Where do you belong. Home."
But if Theon wanted a moment, he wouldn't get it. A few seconds later, Bran gives the po-face "I'm going now," and like Poochie, he's gone to his home planet. His eyes are gray and in the Havran mode! Did you think your TV stream was bad? Get ready for it to be full of potatoes like the murder of black wrinkles flying over the black night sky to get into the dark gray night king. Or, if you are, a lot of ink-colored pixels on a darker background of ink.!
The battle goes on
Inside the castle, Arya begins killing the modified weapon Knifey-Spoony, which Gendry gave her (this was not the only weapon he gave her, ammiright?!) and it is clear that her years at No-Face Academy have really paid off. She graduated from Magna Cum Stabby and we are all super impressed.
But there is no time to be overwhelmed because giant he just woke up to the castle and it's a lot of things. This frightened Hound. To be fair, he always said he wasn't good with fire. He was very open to it.
"We can't beat death!" he cries.
But Beric "I want to take a fire" Dondarrion doesn't have a bar. "Tell her that, ”he replies with a nod to Arya, who still makes crazy superheroes.
But if we have a moment when the ladies are amazing, it will break us off. Baby-bear Lyanna Mormont was grabbed by a giant King Kong and crushed slowly. (Entertainment aside: This was the first time our video stream decided to start buffering! Tension!) But don't worry, we're back and Lyanna kills the giant in the eye. But it's too late.
Major Death # 2: Lyanna Mormont is no more mont.
An evil dead dragon is coming over visibility, but Drogon (riding Dany) and Rhaegal (riding Jon) are still trying to figure out how to get under the clouds. Ahh dragons. Very flames, but not so big in directions. Viserion blows blue flames, but it's all a touch of confusion and our first dragon battle is a bit over before it started.
Go back to Winterfell Castle. Arya is without weapons and creeps around a library of witches. This is easily the best library scene from The Breakfast Club! Arya escapes by literally throwing a book at them. THANK GOD. Outside, he meets Hound and Berica. But the ugly nerds from the library are back and are upset when they throw a book at them. Beric is scored at least five times (great sound effects helped me count).
All three barricade themselves in a room where a red woman is waiting for them. Beric begins to fade. Can we get into-over, Berica? Do you still have three chargers left on the right? No dice.
Main Death # 3: Beric Flame was Extinguished & # 39; Dondarrion.
Arya has no time for sentiment. She put on her packed shoes today and barely wears it.
"What do we say to God of death?" The red woman asks her and gives her a blessing to say she killed.
"Not today," Arya replies.
That is right! Not today, Satan! (Yes, I would certainly follow the stretching of Ru Paul's Drag Race / Game of Thrones).
Are we still there?
Despite these boss moments, the Winterfell loop is tightening. Over in Godswood, Bran is still away in Raven VR so Theon and his mates try to hold back the forces of death on their own. At this stage, Bran will have to go through a pretty powerful way to spend most of the episode so far that giant crow LAN party.
Before we can talk about Brane's life decisions, we're back in the clouds with dragons. And it's time for an old-fashioned, precious dragon! Jon Snow and the Night King are fighting on the back of their lofty aerial stitches, and the Night King is falling. Wouldn't it be great if it killed him and we were done? Unfortunately, no. From above, Dany looks down Drogon at the full pyrolytic cleansing regimen to try to melt the Night Crater from the kings. No sorry.
Here we learn that both can survive the dragon's flames and she can smile.
But just as you were about to think about the nightmare's emotional range, she is making her Evita's hand to erect and awaken the dead.
Slow fashion is mounting
Do you know that moment at home party when someone jerks a shirt, clicks Turn Down for what at max volume on stereo and sambuca shots shine?
This is where we are now – the music is intense, the slow movement is in the game and everyone is well and really realized that the chances are impossible and all are fine.
On the castle grounds, Jon runs to find Bran, aka the Night King bait. Viserion is a waste around him in a blue flame (not unlike your buddy with blazing sambuky shots). Jon is desperate.
In the trenches, after spending the entire episode flying too high, Drogon is now inexplicably leaving the country and being attacked by wights. He flies away, so Dany fights the dead. She was ready for this battle in the sense that she was wearing a sweet coat, but not as ready to fight. At the last moment Ser Jorah is saved, helping her to stand on the ground.
The slow piano is here and we see a shot after the shot of our favorite characters in the clutches of death itself: Jorah is stabbed, Brienne is dirty with folly, Sam cries on the floor (classic) and things look the worst.
And in Godswood, Theon fights for struggles, like someone who has a lot of redemption.
The last, brutal moment
As a child who emerged from the seven-hour meeting of Warcraft, Bran has Finally decided to join us at the dinner table. He woke up and it is also on time. The Night King and his white pedestrians arrived at Godswood when I mentally rescued them as "walkintotheclublike.gif" and is up to it.
Bran looks up at Theon, who has turned and pushed aside the dead, but is quite cut off at this point.
"Theon," he says. "You're a good man. Thank you."
Theon's face slips down one tear when he realizes it's his last hour. And behold, as if he had heard the cello, which had merged with the piano music in the background (signaling that it had only a few seconds of television time), it runs at Night King and is impaled.
Cut to Bran: Yeah, no biggy. See, bro.
Major Death # 4: Theon is theoff.
Cello are crescendoing, and we are cutting among the major theaters of battle. Jon and Viserion in the castle walls. Dany and Jorah (who still ají stab 👏) in the trenches.
And in the middle of everything, the night king, slowly carrying on Bran (but not before we get a sweet shot of his rough nails – that's where I knew he was really evil.)
It is the Night King and Bran. Old Man Winter versus Millennial Crow Boy. And they are staring at each other, squinting like "Have I gone to school with you?"
But just as the night king puts an end to it, HOLY MOTHER CRAP ARE ARYA!
How do you like THIS face, Night King?! Bringing the blade to strike, but he chokes it and drops the blade. No! But he doesn't have to see things with his eyes to know what he's doing. Bam! The blade falls on the other hand and stabs him right in the Night Bowl!
We all literally shouted and that's the best.
White pedestrians turn to ice crystals! The keys are falling to the ground! The battle is over and we can all go to the bathroom!
Goodbye, my darling. Goodbye, my friend
This is the last coda. We saw how Jorah stabs, and here's the shipment they deserve. Dany cries as she bleeds out and cries over some complicated feelings. The drug rises and wraps around the protective wing. We don't deserve dragons!
Major Death # 5: Ser Jorah Mormont enters the great zone of friends in the sky.
A hound and a red woman appear in the castle. Melisandra promised to be dead before dawn and would rather die because the sun was rising. In her last boss, she went out of the castle gates, removed her cloak, and entered the wilderness of the battlefield. He picks up a magical anti-aging collar (I swear it was an endless stone in the middle) and walks into the snow. In the blink of an eye the age of age (just as we all follow this absurd episode) and dies.
Main Death # 6: The Red Woman is a Red Dead Redemption.
After a long episode you did it and so we are! To be honest, I was expecting more brutal deaths and I definitely thought I'd have to say goodbye to some real favorites. But for a moment Arya was a long mile. It was nice to see that the two youngest Starks joined forces to end it. I'd say the woman did all the work while the guy just sat there, but that would be cold, even for this episode.
Sure, the battle we were preparing for Season 1 was over in one night. Sure, we couldn't see most of it, what with the mood mix of black, gray and color I would call "Iron Stone" (yes, my mother-in-law showed me color samples for the weekend). Certainly, the whole thing was to predict a really bad tetanus injection and just get a small dose of flu for pain (yes, I have a weekend flu). But it was the same cracker ep!
Now we can go back to the real game: Game of Thrones. Here is the next three episodes that I sincerely hope to be a survey of Westeros policy, resulting in the creation of constitutional democracy and bicameral legislation.